Chapter 11
Eulogy
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At the
funeral mass, the celebrant slowly walks down the center aisle of the church and
sprinkles Holy Water. As he passes each pew, all bow and make the sign
of the Cross, yet another tradition that returned with the formation of The
Restoration.
Field Marshal Leonard Earnshaw is seated beside the
alter boys, his eyes fixed on his beloved mother in her gun metal gray
coffin. Even in death, her face still bears the twisted anguish so
unkindly administered by years of pain and suffering. Her thin white hair
is parted at the side, just as it was for all of her life. She is dressed
in a dark blue suit with a white handkerchief in her left pocket and has a white
scarf around her neck. In the past few years, she was always so conscious
of the loose skin around her neck brought on by the substantial weight loss and
always insisted on wearing something to cover it.
Leonard is in uniform and no longer dresses as a priest since
he was given the assignment of traveling throughout the country assisting local
parishes in setting up their organization in accordance with the traditional
laws of The Restoration. He now considers himself a soldier of The
Church who just happens to be a priest. He doesn't hear the scripture
readings as his thoughts reach back to times when he wishes to remember his
mother but cannot cast aside the images of her confined to her bed with half-open
eyes and the sound of resent, and sometimes even hate, in her voice.
Suffering does that - especially to those who do not deserve such an unkind
fate.
The lector completes the 2nd scripture reading, and Leonard
remains in his seat for a moment. Every eye in the church is fixed on him
as he continues to stare at his mother's coffin and try to force away the
tears. Finally, he stands, faces the Crucifix, makes the sign of the Cross
and moves to the lectrum. His eulogy required little preparation, as when
his mother's health continued to decline, his theme for her eulogy began to form
in his mind for many months. As a priest, he always felt a weeping
eulogist added an unnecessary dreariness to a funeral mass and never thought
when he found himself speaking of someone he loved, he would experience the loss
of composure he now feels. In a soft and gentle voice, he begins,
"Many times, a eulogist will say I knew this person all my life and go on
to paint something of a false portrait, only mentioning the good times and those
things that might bring a measure of solace to a time of grief. My mother
would not want me to do that. At one point, my mother's life made something of a
harsh turn from what was once happiness to denial in the heartbreak of
divorce. Almost overnight, much of what was dear to her was swept away as
if taken by a thief, sending her into years of emptiness and a reclusive world
of bitterness, constantly asking what....what did I do to deserve this?
Gradually, she lost touch with everyone and everything from her former life, and
there are no such people to speak of her. So what can I say about my
mother?"
"Often, a eulogist will say I worked with this person
for many years and go on to mention how he or she was responsible for a number
of innovative ideas that contributed to that terribly over-used cliché' - the
bottom line. My mother always found herself in the home raising her
children, always thinking of them before herself. Although she had the
means, she never felt it necessary to hire someone to look after such menial
tasks while she pursued some career goal or worldly need. When her
children began to pursue their own career goals; then came the divorce, and she
slipped further and further into a world of isolation. Then, there are no such
people to speak of her, so what can I say about my mother?"
"Sharing the happy times in a person's life comes quite
easily, demands little responsibility and spares us worry and any hurt from
knowing, or even suspecting, someone's life, as he or she would have it, is
gradually slipping away. When someone is not prone to complain, such a
phenomenon can go unseen for quite a long time and often result when a kind and
thoughtful person does not wish to burden someone else with what they feel must
be endured alone. I really can't say how long she remained in this distant
and lonely existence before her illness began to draw her further and further
into a world of solitude, then condemning her to physical pain as well as the
despair from a lost happiness. You see, I was pursuing my own career
goals. You could say, as far as what she had once hoped for the future,
she was penniless, much the same as a homeless person you would pass on the
street. What do you do when you see the homeless - give them the 2 or 3
dollars they ask or turn you head, feeling you did nothing to place them in
despair and have no obligation to even listen to them? Such a nameless
person we may see only once in our lifetime but that can tell us so much about
ourselves. What then should we do when a love one, although in a different
respect, is just as much in need? Should we turn our heads, put them in a
nursing home to get them out of sight, all the while telling ourselves it is
what is best for them and perhaps never realizing we are all the while thinking
of what is best for ourselves, leaving them to stand alone, the same as a
penniless person on the street."
"Think of it. You may well know someone who is
sick or in some form of need. Just for a moment, ask yourself how you
would feel, if you were that person. I did that towards the end of my
mother's life and was constantly asking myself how I would feel and what I would
want for myself, if I were my mother. Only then did I realize I should
have asked that question, and many others, years ago before waiting until I knew
what she had wanted for all those years was now beyond my reach. When a
person is sick or has been victimized by this life in such a cruel manner, much
of what they want for themselves costs nothing - not even the $2 a homeless
person will want for a meager meal. They only want a moment of kindness,
some expression of concern and love - a gentle touch, a few kind and loving
words that many times escape our hearts and find us, perhaps without realizing
it, seeking out ways to convince ourselves we have done all we should."
"Now, my mother is gone and what she wanted for herself
is so vivid in my mind. In the life that surely must exist beyond this
world, I hope she can know of my thoughts at this very moment and be consoled in
knowing I finally realized much of what she wanted for herself was only to know
her sons were happy. She always placed us before anything she wanted for
herself and extended the loving kindness that remained so much an unrealized
blessing until it was far too late. Still, she must have had the solace in
knowing she was always unselfish and caring, and I pray she knows she will
remain in the hearts of her sons forever. And this is what I can say about my mother."
He walks to the coffin, looks down on her withered face and
kisses her cheek.